Andria Miguez

Didn’t intend to blog in this moment… but I accidentally clicked on the link for my web page. So, must be meant to be:)
blog blog blogity blog blog. Does that count??? Dang it!!
What is “true” for me in this moment? I’m a little scared that there’s nothing inside me. I’ve been lying to myself all this time, I have no worth to give to this world, I’m a fake and a joke, that i should wake up because I’m wasting my precious life. Coupled with I couldn’t make a difference even if I tried and I don’t want to anyways. And the icing on the cake: I’m a horrible writer.
Actually now that I really look at it, i’m terrified of writing. Why? OK… stream of consciousness: no one will understand me, no one cares, I’m incapable of communicating with any one unless speaking in fragmented sentences, I suck, no one will read it… everyone will read it and know the truth that I’m a complete crazy idiot, it takes too much time, there’s nothing inside, i’m a fake and a joke…. repeat paragraph here.
it seems this story repeats it self throughout my entire reality as well. yucky ducky and a turkey lurkey doo da day!!!
my mind is arguing: i don’t know what to do, i can’t get out, leave me alone.
Oooh I just got it, I’m scared of writing because I’ve been believing all my thoughts and feelings about writing!!!! Ta daaaa:D
its all one perspective out of a kazillion, and it just happens to be complete crap… and let me tell you it is so stinky!!
OK… The point. This story/perspective/belief has left me being resigned and scared. It is costing me my playfulness, self expression, passion, possibilities. And what is behind this mind operation… the big ol’ ugly truth. I don’t have to be responsible for my life or my happiness, and I get to sit around complaining that my life is less than it could be (well no doo doo mama… with an attitude like that!!). I get to justify my feelings of frustration, depression, sadness. I’ve got all kinds of amazing reasons to be depressed and incapable of achieving anything in this life. And I don’t have to do anything about it!!!
So in the face of all that i think I’ll say: thank you for sharing sweet mind of mine, today I’m being something different. I’m being courageous, lightness, and perseverance. How can I get better at this unless i start doing it??
So here I publish, imperfections and all, on the road to freedom writing.